Tonight’s Thoughts

~It was important for me to let myself grieve for what I lost. It was also important that I eventually let go of what I’d lost.
~Life is not fair and that’s no one’s fault. Some days I get the sunshine, other days the rain.
~Anger is not real, its only the clothing we wear [...]

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Stuck in my Head

I wanted to write
but I couldn’t even breathe.
He got an email from his boss last night . . . he had asked for an evaluation . . . I teared up listening to him read Jim’s words about what an amazing sales and marketing man he is; and how they have held him back from [...]

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Untitled

It’s cold and dark today
and . . .
I can feel Fall creeping in–
that familiar urge to curl up on the couch
notebook in my lap
exploring myself
There’s new territory to uncover
and the old seems finally uninhabited
by anyone–
I had always hoped it would be
all of us smiling
or
none of us at all
Carl asked me to be his wife
(specifically choosing [...]

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shorts . . .

ugly stories fall out of my mouth
in the same tone I use to talk about the weather
he points it out, asks for more and
[...]

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Thoughts

Poetry is a continuum, the old words feed the new.
I intended to give myself freedom to write about the past, but instead find myself finally feeling free to write about the present and the future . . .
I don’t know what the best choice is . . . so I’m not going to make one [...]

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Dear Rape,

I watched the fireworks this year and told you to fuck off
I danced and laughed and didn’t drink
you sat on top of the green public trash can
and waited
you got bored watching me enjoy myself
bored and a little angry
and a little hurt
neglected
you went to the bar beside our parking place
and drank until you couldn’t see straight
but [...]

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Thoughts . . .

Just before the world fades away, I always imagine I am dying.
“There is something at work in my soul which I do not understand” –Mary Shelley–Frankenstein
Knitting this yarn feels like the solving of a very long problem; I wish my problems could be solved in such a way.
Its strange to think that he is both [...]

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A Metaphor

A fruit pie trying to cool
in the windowsill
over the kitchen sink
where their words too hotly
contradicted one another.
A conduit
through which two strangers
tried to reconcile
their irreconcilable differences.
A lightning rod
rendering the wrath of Zeus
harmless.
A muse,
the reality of whom
was replaced with the ideas
of one who never met her.
A joke told
when everyone was too drunk to remember
because it wasn’t that [...]

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Lines

something to say
that died on my lips . . .
will I find enough words
in enough time
to finish?
these lines are homeless,
filling the streets of my mind
till I build them poems to live in . . .
the crunch was sickening
but Roxy kept me safe
If Lilith got to have children,
I hope I am descended from her . . [...]

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Loretta

I look at her and say
no wonder you’ve survived 200 million years
relatively unchanged
(I say this to a passing Caimen)
her skin is hard like armor
powerful legs and sharp claws
more tiny teeth than I can count
a tail that could knock me unconscious . . .
hmmmmmm
looking at my own arms and legs
my skin just doesn’t seem so protective
as [...]

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Sigh

I’ve lost track, Love
of words said,
steps taken
across months
so focused on school
I forgot I was still living
the rest of my life
it doesn’t wait
while my back is turned
and I’m facing other matters . . .
I’m tired, Love
worn out truly
too weary for worrying
about where to put my things
I’ll wait awhile
rest awhile
drink a few mojitos
have a few river days
before [...]

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Thermoregulation

sometimes I can’t keep warm
from the inside out
I borrow heat–
laying sun on my skin,
stepping in a hot bath,
tangling my arms and legs with his
seeking, absorbing
feeling warmth soak in
from wherever I can find it
amphibious?
a life lived half in water, half on land
permeable skin . . .
reptilian?
laying on the black rocks beside the river
to get rid of [...]

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Unless together

actor and actress wake up
make-up
and
step onstage
bright masks gleaming over
honest faces
lines carefully rehearsed
blocking to perfection
what the audience directs . . .

funny guy bursts into whatever room he enters
willing to go one step further than anyone
towards hilarity at any cost,
too drunk if he’s drunk at all,
making everyone laugh
and if they’re not
they definitely hate him
other guys are jealous [...]

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My Words

creeping through my mind
having come from Heart or Soul
or some other silent place
slipping around corners
pooling to overflow
then falling falling
from shoulder to arm to fingertips
dripping onto pages, or scraps or my hands
or wherever will take them
made with whatever leaves a mark
in this world
however faint or short-lived
however black and permanent
Words
once out
having fallen
having scratched themselves
into the world
are gone [...]

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You

are a much better communicator than people (yourself included) give you credit for.
are one of my top five funniest people ever.
look hot in green and black too I’ve decided . . . and red. : )
make better Ramen and Easy Mac (pardon me, boxed Mac) than me.
will only take so much before you won’t [...]

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