Me, Myself

“Do not waste your time, trying to get
back what was taken.” -The Offspring

He wouldn’t let me go . . .

so I let me go . . .

escaped myself

and started fresh

until I missed me

and started searching

in vain

[...]

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2005

I spread my legs for him
invited him in
instead he set himself between
and wrote there in permanent ink
JESSE’S
pressed my knees together again
lovingly kissed my forehead
with a gentle smile
and left.
I cried myself to sleep
and I cried myself awake
I cried and apologized
I cried with anger and regret
I cried for years
until I forgave myself
no one ever told me . [...]

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Winner.

I don’t smoke cigarettes
which takes away from my artistic appeal
what is it about the faces of girls who gossip well?
and I’d rather shoot whiskey than drink a cosmo
whiskey is romantic
but not without a cigarette
i suppose
validated, actualized, beautiful exterior
eyeliner applied with deadly accuracy
lies wired together with truths
i always win
cigarette or no

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