Remember?

I still wonder, does he understand my reasons now? When I close my eyes and imagine the scene, sitting in the passenger side of my car, watching him rage against his mistakes looked and sounded an awful lot like him blaming me for everything. It ends differently now. After he screams at [...]

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Vignettes

holding the weight of the world’s sadness
in my palm
without a prayer
breathing love out
in tired, circular sentences
he never understood
one by one
aching, tired fingers
forgot why they were holding on
and let go
here I am
dancing with wild daffodils
writing answers to riddles
as riddles to answer
questions no one is asking
: )

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Mama

I didn’t realize she was crying.
It was the last hymn
“Father I Adore You”
I couldn’t count the times
[...]

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Sigh

I’ve lost track, Love
of words said,
steps taken
across months
so focused on school
I forgot I was still living
the rest of my life
it doesn’t wait
while my back is turned
and I’m facing other matters . . .
I’m tired, Love
worn out truly
too weary for worrying
about where to put my things
I’ll wait awhile
rest awhile
drink a few mojitos
have a few river days
before [...]

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Dear Carl

Dear Carl,
Graduation is looming over me like a heavy raincloud; I am stressed and frustrated and anxious. I would like to say your visit helped make it all go away and it did, but the moment I stepped out of your arms and you stepped onto the plane, the weight settled back into my chest, [...]

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Three Years!

So there’s this boy and he is so beautiful–a heart big enough to hold the world and a mind full of dreams and faith and laughter. We’ve been walking this life together for three full years now, sometimes tripping, often leaning, pulling each other up to carry on through the ugliest parts. This boy, he [...]

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A Bedtime Story : )

I started out alone: walking along the beach; barefoot, my sarong floating about my ankles. I would run along the shoreline, dipping my toes into the fading waves, but never jump in. The ocean is a very big place. She is beautiful, but so very big. In many ways, I feared her and so I [...]

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What Dreams May Come

down this road
I cannot say
she always reminds me
how everything can change
when I am sad
but the possiblity also
exists in happiness
unspoken
just tonight
we laughed our dreams
through satellites
and I forgot them in a second
as you read
then remembered them again
with effort
after turning and seeing us there on the shelf
in the tree across from Wightman
before I dared to dream at all [...]

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Us

****
I used to turn on a blue lamp
set in the middle of my spotless room
swimming pool walls to soothe us
soft, sweet music
playing low
I used to create a space
for him and I
a place for what we felt
to live peacefully, fearlessly
He would sneak in the side door
and our little blue world was waiting
for us
like we were the [...]

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Beauty and a Beast

Ugly words drip from your smirking mouth
you are careless and cruel
immature and hateful
I’m sorry there are people who care what you think
I’m sorry you’re so unhappy
but you know how hurtful you are
I hope you forgive yourself someday
because there will be other who won’t be able to
you say you don’t care
you’re a liar
you say you have [...]

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Alive in April

It’s April with you
I know,
thought I am beyond months
beyond time
sometimes I watch you
race th clouds
always in April
as we used to do
the breeze is my breath
listen
I still sing to you
tell you all my secrets
especially in April
thank you
for every moment of peace
you left my tears
my sadness
left them behind
in our dust
took me where it could not reach
always [...]

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