poet

words
sustain
us
I cannot see your lips
[...]

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. . .

“I need you”
she didn’t say this
or think it.
just curled her knees
and wrapped one arm around herself
closing her eyes
imagining it was his

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?

I keep my heart on you and my eyes on my school-books. Reading through my old journals there are so many pages dedicated to the impossibility of our situation because of distance with no quick rememdy. But the reason for the distance is about to come to an end and what then? [...]

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Call me Desperate

call it desperation
I’m sitting here tonight
calling a number you won’t answer
you’re at work
you’re in Oregon
these words can’t do anything
I’m tired of writing
what I want to say and do
when all I really want is to truly say and do
to you
all the things I think about in a day . . .
yesssss, all of them ; [...]

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Afraid

cold thoughts thawed
confess
love can hurt so much
I still remember
but I want
when I look at our pictures
you aren’t here
my needs dangle disconnected
unmet
I am accustomed to becoming accustomed
to not needing.
love lives in your hands
but only visits my heart
what happens to me
if I give myself to you?
I’m afraid.
I remember him taking my wrists
my hands were at the ends [...]

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Can’t

I can’t sleep tonight
won’t get in my empty bed
where memories of you
never rest

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Lame-O

Pause.
I’m so tired of living this way.
Away from you.
Waiting for graduation
for money
for our plans to line up
Waiting and waiting
for dreams we made before
each other
I’m tired of these old dreams
skeleton dreams
devoid of the hopes they once held.
I only want
to be in your arms
to sleep in our bed
to pick up your wet towels off the carpet
and leave [...]

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Hurry

the smell of Candies
won’t linger more than a moment
I know
I’ll have to tell my bed and dog
you’ve gone
when I get home
Why?lee will lay at the window
a day or two watching
I will lie awake a week or two
having so quickly forgotten how to fall
without your warmth
My skin will ache
at the memory of our nights
and our days [...]

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///

puddles pool
under the covers
melted, mingling
breath and limbs
warm and soft
Ne me quitte pas . . .
My last thought
before giving in to asleep

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This Love

And then you said,
“I had too much time to think this weekend”
I thought of the secret lives we live in our heads
and all the horrible things that happen there
along with all the wonders
it was jealousy again
I didn’t have to ask
its always jealousy
with us
sitting and steeping
in questions without relevance
plots and characters that don’t exist,
stories without life [...]

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Wants : )

I want a cold weekend
to curl up with you
on that old green couch
with blankets and ramen
and some old romantic comedy
or shoot em’ up action flick
I want to throw a snowball
at your face
then say I’m sorry
when you go to retaliate
I want to fall asleep
too warm, but too comfortable to care
heavy limbs crossed and curled
I want to [...]

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sigh

faraway again
daydreaming of your kiss
already tired
of waking up without you
all I want is to curl up
against your softly rising and falling side
and drift to sleep
wrapped in your warmth
I miss you, Lew

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Needy

It is melancholy
with a twist of desperation
depression
a dim, inexhaustable, child-like hope
continually disappointed
it is longing, yearning
for something unhaveable
but sort of haveable
somehow haveable
having been had before . . . somehow
it is this thing
that comes over me
sweeps over me
swells in me
waves upon waves
when you will not give me . .
whatever it is that I get from only you.
and [...]

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Frustrated

It’s these damn days
flying by
life is going on on
and we are doing this all wrong wrong
so far away
calling and writing
boxing our love
to be sent through
the hands of others,
Telephone wires
satellites
and binary codes
glue us together two birds of a feather
who’ve forgotten how we’re supposed to flock.
I want to feel your hot morning body
against mine
and put my frigid [...]

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When he’s gone . . .

7:00am
screaming in my ear
get up
still sleeping
moving through each day
like the recurring dream
my days have become
until its time
to put on my pajamas
turn off the lights
crawl in bed
wake up
and miss him.

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