beautiful

in an old sports bra
and gray yoga pants
I am his Heaven-sent
and very flexible
sex goddess
in nothing but my apron
I whip up his latest fantasies
in lipstick and liner
all black
and boots
I am his Dark Angel
I am his centerfold,
his playgirl,
starring in every love-scene
for the past four years
I slipped right out of my insecurities
and let them fall to the floor [...]

Read Full Post »

Lately

I’d spill this flesh to keep your greedy eyes thirsty.
My body wastes away, but they all say I’m beautiful.
These bones are beautiful?
Too thin again, I’m told, but my knees are so perfect I can’t stay mad at myself.
Your thoughts escape through your eyes to undermine my existence.
Her thoughts escape through her lips–a thousand words–painting me [...]

Read Full Post »

Words

Words sharpened
with wine and fear
find their mark
in my self-confidence
and for a brief moment
I wonder what this is doing
to help me with the image
problem I don’t have.
Bleeding in front
of the one who cut me
exposed and unable to cover up
with the smiles and lies I am
accustomed to
I am unsure.
What can I say?
when my words are only
written off [...]

Read Full Post »

My Body

I am not in love with the way my body looks.
I am not always satisfied when I look in the mirror.
I do not always feel beautiful.

However,

I am in love with the way my body moves through water.
I am in love with the way my body can stay on
a horse at [...]

Read Full Post »

disappointment

the forbidden curve of her hip
beckons every
unmade mistake-
unwittingly
she collects them
feeling awkward
under their eyes
pretty pink shame
rises to her cheeks
lids fall quickly to cover
her eventual realization-
her weak eyes
that even experience couldn’t open
to the darker truth
beneath their kindness-
intentions written
in fine print
under greedy fingertips.
always disappointed-
she slowly falls asleep alone
aching with embarrassment
at her own naivete-
Always disappointing
she never fulfills
the promises they [...]

Read Full Post »